Katy Perry - "Teenage Dream" (single) [2010]

Don't worry, I actually hate myself a little for admitting this to the blogosphere... but I kinda sorta love Katy Perry's new single "Teenage Dream." (See the official video here) With pop music being, for the most part, formulaic, contrived, unimaginative, and just plain annoying, it can be refreshing to come across rare songs like "Teenage Dream" that don't instantly make you reach for the barf bag (see: Selena Gomez), want to bang your head against the wall (see: Rihanna) or kill yourself (see: Ke$ha). I also find this admission super hysterical considering the scathing review I did for her ridiculously awful debut. If it means anything, up until now "Waking Up In Vegas" was the only KP song I actually didn't mind and would sometimes find myself taking the longer way home in my car just to hear it in its entirety (of course, only during moments when I was alone). So it's safe to say "Teenage Dream" just may be a true watershed moment, even though the most intellectually stimulating lyric of the song is "Ima get your heart racing, in my skin-tight jeans, I'll be your teenage dream tonight." But I'm learning that's okay. Sometimes you need something mindless, fun, harmless and not to be taken seriously... especially if it gets your motor running a tad. The song (and its completely literal video) speaks of youthful love, gallivanting on the beach, amorous drives up the coast in a convertible, cheap motel nookie, and all the associated cliche "been there, done that" rites of passage this country was founded upon, except... she chose a boxer guy instead of the typical football jock as her love interest (plus, he's not even cute, really?). If she was gonna go gaga over some muscular video dude, she may as well have commissioned Channing Tatum for the job because isn't he the boxer-type du jour with all the right moves? First Russell Brand, now this guy? I definitely question her taste in men. But at least the song's great and it will make my commute a little brighter until I get home and blast something in my collection that will restore any, if not all, of my music credibility... any suggestions?

David Sides - The Collection // Volume 1 (2008)

Dubbed as "Mozart Gone Hip-Hop, Pop and R&B," David Sides is a Cali-based pianist that specializes in covers of popular mainstream R&B, hip hop, and sometimes pop rock songs. The best part about "D-Sides" (as he's known in the Industry) is that he is basically self-taught and plays songs by ear. He's working on an album of originals, but for the time being he's garnered quite a following on YouTube with The Collection: Volume 1 (Volume 2 isn't officially out yet, but he's already leaked a few tracks on YouTube). Already one of the top watched artists of 2008, he boasts upwards of 40 million views thus far. His most popular cover to date, OneRepublic's "Apologize," racked up 4.5 million views alone!

He's so much fun to watch because he just looks so happy and into what he's playing. He sways around like Ray Charles, snaps his fingers like T-Pain, and I love the head nodding during his more hip-hopified tracks as if he's driving around, with the top down of course, listening to his favorite jam. Plus he covers everyone... from Shop Boyz's "Party Like A Rockstar" and a Kanye West Medley, to Linkin Park's "In The End." He can play fast during Ne-Yo's "Because Of You" or crank it down a notch for slow jams like the gorgeous "Bed" by J Holiday and the super-sexy "Lost Without U" by Robin Thicke. He goes cutesy with Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body" but comes hard with "Anonymous" by Bobby Valentino (one of my favorite R&B songs of last summer). He really hits the vocals and intricate Timbaland beat-work of that tune in each note on the piano, it's rather wondrous how he manages to capture all the musical layers so well. Plus, I think Timbaland may have found his new "Danjahandz" here, literally!

D-Sides would be perfect for live background music for that hip-hop-lovin' couple who want to add a little flava to their wedding reception, but still want to keep things classy. It's awesome for laying around on the couch, with or without someone. You get all the fun energy of hip hop minus the sometimes vulgar, profane, and misogynistic lyrics we're not always in the mood for. If you've been looking for a way to combine your love of classical music while still getting your daily dose of hip hop in a one-two punch, David Sides is the man for the job.

My favorites are his versions of T-Pain's "Buy You A Drank" (the snapping is hysterical), Usher's "Love In This Club" (he really captured the music, vocals, and even the rap in true pretty piano fashion) and, perhaps his best one... the most beautiful rendition I've ever heard of the already beautiful "Forever" by Chris Brown. I highly recommend it.

The Final Verdict:
Give D-Sides a chance, whether you're into hip hop and R&B or not. It's great mood music for those times when you're in "a mood" and simply want to get in "the mood." So lose the 'tude, dude, because who doesn't have the time to get in "the mood?"

Katy Perry - One Of The Boys (2008)

Just when you think Pop Tarts© can’t come out with yet another flavor, they develop “next big thing” Katy Perry. I was hoping to discover my newest guilty pleasure on her major label debut, One Of The Boys, but yeah... [insert smashed hopes here]. Instead, I found something incredibly derivative that wasn't even created in a way to at least be considered decent pop rock.

Start with a dash of Avril Lavigne’s nasaly yelp, a touch of Alanis Morissette’s in-your-face tonality, a dollop of Linda Perry’s off-kilter vocal styling, a hint of Pink’s visceral energy and poof: pop starlet Katy Perry is born! With 40’s inspired pin-up girl looks, Perry belts out super-raw vocals with refreshingly tongue-in-cheek lyrics, such as “I lost my fake ID but you lost the motel key / Spare me your freakin’ dirty looks” from “Waking Up In Vegas,” a song dedicated to drunken revelry in, well, Vegas. And then there’s the anticlimactic love song, “Ur So Gay,” where she sings “I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf” over a reggae-tinged beat. Fortunately, these quirky elements separate her from other formulaic pop acts of today, but wait… as suspected, the rest of the record is mostly filler that only makes me long for the days of Lily Allen. Sigh.

Oh, there's a kicker: it was only 7 years ago that this daughter of two pastors released her first Christian gospel album, with a song titled “Faith Won’t Fail.” Huh? Maybe a hiatus made her realize that G-d can’t guarantee you the #1 spot on TRL… but shock and awe can? Evidently, when you can’t quite pull off the virgin-whore complexity that worked brilliantly for Britney Spears, the last resort in marketing strategy is concocting songs that titillate in completely different ways… example: providing anthems for prepubescent grrrls that will universally worry soccer moms, with songs titled “Ur So Gay” (...and you don’t even like boys) and “I Kissed A Girl” (...and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick). Dayumn! I know girlfriend di-int just say that now, did she?!

Musicians who cultivate controversy in order to distract from the fact that their music is a garden variety of overproduced rubbish just plain irk me. Perry’s vocals are actually pretty strong, but blatant un-originality isn’t exactly a saving grace. Honestly, who allowed a cover of The Outfield’s “Your Love” with modernized lyrics tailored to the female point of view? Seriously, can’t people leave well enough alone? Must we butcher a classic? Now I know how the French feel when Americans go there and try to speak their language! And doesn't anyone remember Jill Sobule’s bi-curious hit-song “I Kissed A Girl” from the 90’s? At least Sobule’s foray was genuine since she followed it up with an “…and I just may do it again,” whereas Perry instead chimes in with a “...I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it?” Clearly, she’s just trying to get a rise out of a neglectful boyfriend [and her listeners] by asking a question she already knows the answer to. No Katy, unless you're dating Lance Bass, he won’t mind… idiot.

The final verdict:
Don’t buy this, don’t even illegally download it for free. Just get “Ur So Gay” and “I Kissed A Girl” for those *rare* moments when you wanna sip on haterade while simultaneously getting your top-40 on.