Alice In Chains - "Check My Brain" [single] (2009)

More like "Alice In Chains," really. One of my favorite 90's alt rock bands is back with a new lead singer who sounds like a watered down Layne Staley (may he rest). Or worse yet... a cheap imitation vocalist because I've heard AIC cover bands (e.g., Dirt) who sound muuuuch better. Their anachronistic single, "Check My Brain" (view it here), is so awful and wrong. It isn't even good enough to be a b-side back in the Jar Of Flies days. All of this just makes me sad. Why the 14-year hiatus? Why a new album? Why try to recapture that which will never come back? I know you guys lost your irreplaceable frontman to a drug overdose, but why come back with a lesser AIC? Isn't it better to burn out at your brightest, than fade away... or worse, come back at half speed? Why didn't they just change their name/start a new band altogether? Why did they even stop recording in the first place? So many unanswered questions! Jerry Cantrell was pretty much the de facto second lead singer during some of their most memorable showcases of vocal harmony (Umm, does anyone else remember the genius that is/was "No Excuses," "Heaven Beside You," and "Down In A Hole"?), why didn't he just step up then and take over? It's not like he didn't have the chops to put out tracks all by his lonesome post-Layne, considering he basically rocked the shit out of one of my all-time favorite Chains songs ever, "Got Me Wrong." Or was he just temporarily distracted with his foray into film? Too bad his cameo career didn't take off.



Point to ponder:
Oh, and for all the Seattle music fans out there... am I the only one in the world who maintains that Alice In Chains: Unplugged blew Nirvana's acoustic set out of the water? And they didn't even have to throw in a Bowie or Meat Puppets cover to achieve that.

Kaiser Chiefs - Off With Their Heads

Off With Their Heads? More like Off With Their Ears!

If you’re looking to pad your collection with indistinguishable Brit rock, add Kaiser Chiefs. Their third release is perfect for fist-pumping frat boys in Hoboken bars who desire some semblance of indie cred but are too lazy to research something less generic and slightly under the radar. This would require thinking, but then again so does most subterranean rock worth listening to. Their interesting debut, Employment (2005), flirted with new wave and 70’s punk, but commercial success has made their sound mass produced for, well, mass appeal. Quite frankly, fuck marketability if it’s at the expense of losing that certain something that had initially put them on the map. Even producer Mark Ronson did little for this derivative music than give it a shiny, polished sound.

“Spanish Metal” is their “badass” intro. The vocals excited me since they were reminiscent of Alice In Chains’ lead singer Layne Staley (may he rest). Alas, the thrill wore off since I ended up turning on Jar Of Flies instead. With a catchy chorus and watered down Gallagher (see: Oasis) vocals, “Never Miss A Beat” is actually one of the more tolerable tracks. But if blatant un-originality tires you, this song will put you to sleep faster than Nyquil. Unworthy of mention are the uninspired songs “Can’t Say What I Mean” and “Good Days Bad Days,” boasting lyrics that are equal parts cliché and utterly annoying. The punchy guitar that introduces “Like It Too Much” is nothing but a Spoon “I Turn My Camera On” baseline knock-off, but not in a good way. Plus, I’m not even a Spoon fan! And “You Want History,” with wailing guitars and big background vocals, is a mélange of sounds from forgettable 80’s bands not even worth the lackadaisical mention.

Overall, this album is far from groundbreaking and misses the very beat they claim to “Never Miss.” Had they covered familiar territory from a unique vantage point maybe they could’ve developed more worthwhile lyrics, but no dice. Plus, the music has been done before... and better. Suffice it to say, I’ve seen fake Prada wallets sold by NYC street vendors with more style and originality than Kaiser Chiefs.