April 25, 2008

Tonya Watts - Handcuff My Soul (2008)

I have to admit, I enthusiastically enjoyed my experience venue hopping in Nashville two years ago. A favorite memory, and one that I need to relive. In fact, I enjoyed Nashville's live music fervency so much, that it provoked a habit of paying attention to the Nashville "buzz" and monitoring artists that periodically bubble to the surface of the country / southern-rock stew. Hence this unlikely review. Tonya Watts, who has the look of a Dixie Deborah Harry (circa 1977) crossed with Pamela Anderson, generates her own mixture of white-trashy country / southern-rock and dirty, misfit-nonconformist “glam” (self-proclaimed) rock... which actually serves as a compliment in this context… I think. Anyway, the lyrics off of Handcuff My Soul are both outrageous and hilarious. With songs titles like "Whore," "Go Go," and "Inside of Me," consisting of lyrics such as, "Alabama! I looovvve me some Alabammaaaa... I'm from Alabama and I will fuck you up!" & "You know you like it / You know that you want more / I wanna be your wife / I wanna be your whore" it is really hard to take Watts seriously, even when she slows it down and attempts to sound serious. There are so many amusingly quotable lyrics, I don't have the time or space to share them all, but I can easily imagine bleach-blond, Midwestern, teenage girls driving around in American trucks shrieking: "I'm easily stimulated for short periods of time!" Yeah… aren’t we all. So, what do you do with an album like this? Ignore it? Hell no!—that's like ignoring good-quality standup comedy. Embrace it? Not that either—that would simply be irrational and bring all the meaningful relationships in your life to a screeching halt. I guess all I can say is: It would have been kick-ass to see Watts live in Nashville.

For unchaste lyrical amusement, check out the pornographic country musical "Whore," or for a southern-rock ditz anthem, "Alabama Crimson."

5 Comments:

Nightrain said...

One last thing...

The title song "Handcuff My Soul" is utterly ridiculous, and should be avoided at all costs, unless you desire the salacious, southern-rocker whore image you had secretly grown to appreciate to quickly dissipate.

Nightrain said...

For Tonya Watts' personal response to this review, please visit her MySpace blog at: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=44924892&blogID=386505108

ancientindianwizard said...

most famous quickcrit review ever! nicely done!!

Nightrain said...

Hey, thanks man. Sometimes pissing someone off is the best way to make friends.

Anonymous said...

Opinions are like assholes. Everyone fancies their self a critic these days...